When Sober Curious Strikes Past Dry January

At first of 2025, the previous US Surgeon Normal issued an advisory on the hyperlink between alcohol consumption and cancer risk. Whereas this can be a sobering name to motion, there isn’t any denying that sober curiosity has elevated just lately. From Dry January to extra manufacturers creating alcohol-free drinks to the rise of mainstream mocktails, now greater than ever even informal drinkers have gotten sober curious and analyzing their relationship with alcohol.

Final yr in Episode 146 of the FBG Podcast, Sobriety Coach, and Founding father of Sober Wild, Krysty Krywko, Ed.D, joined our EIC Alison for an interview on sobriety. In the present day we’re persevering with this dialog with Krysty. Dry January has handed however definitely not the questions on what we will do if we’re fascinated about a sober (fully alcohol free), or damp (a discount in alcohol consumption), life. 

Tam: Ought to we strategy consuming as all or nothing, particularly if we’re sober curious?

Krysty: I believe it’s a really private choice, however should you’re any form of a daily drinker (that means three or 4 nights every week “simply to unwind”) then alcohol is impacting the way in which you’re feeling – mentally, emotionally, and bodily – your physique simply doesn’t know there’s one other manner. For those who’re not consuming throughout the week, however then consuming a few bottles of wine over the weekend, you by no means actually get the possibility to see how your physique and thoughts reacts to no alcohol. Anna Lembke, in her ebook, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence, talks about how “abstaining from our drug of alternative for not less than 4 weeks offers clarifying behaviors. Perception that merely isn’t attainable whereas we proceed to make use of.” In different phrases, you haven’t any concept how shitty you actually really feel if you’re utilizing a substance that’s making you’re feeling shitty. It normally takes a number of weeks on your physique to regulate to the truth that you’re now not consuming a poisonous substance.

Tam: Are there concerns/greatest practices to go from Dry January to extra of a Damp February and past? 

Krysty: So, I don’t actually know the reply to that query, it actually relies on what your motivation was for Dry January. Was the plan to simply see should you might make it with out consuming for 30 days? Or have been you on the lookout for actual well being advantages? Or did you notice that your consuming has elevated over the previous few years and you realize you wanted to take a break?

Moderation, which is absolutely what Damp February is all about, doesn’t work for lots of people. For those who spend loads of time bargaining with your self at any time when alcohol is concerned, which ends up in loads of “guidelines” round your consuming, you would possibly need to take a step again.

You may not even pay attention to these guidelines. They’ve simply grow to be a part of your internal chatter. That chatter would possibly sound like this:
I’m not going to drink on my own.
No consuming earlier than 5:00 p.m.
No onerous alcohol throughout the week
I’m solely going to drink white wine (or beer, or vodka, and many others.)
I can’t have greater than two drinks on every week evening.
I can’t drink greater than two nights in a row. 

The top days of my consuming have been crammed with elaborate and arcane guidelines that have been continually shifting as I broke one after one other. I used to be letting myself down every day, and that form of self-disappointment was like a continuing stream of micro-cuts to my soul.

Take a second and take into consideration why you’re placing so many guidelines round your consuming. You would possibly simply resolve that it’s now not price it.

Tam: If somebody is studying this considering “I wouldn’t have an issue with my alcohol consumption however need to take a extra conscious strategy to what I eat/drink,” what questions ought to be explored when fascinated about alcohol consumption? 

Krysty: One of many first issues we have to do is transfer away from the language round consuming and the idea that there are “drawback drinkers” after which everybody else. This results in disgrace, stigma, and judgement.

A way more helpful, and life like, mannequin to make use of with regards to speaking about alcohol is the thought of consuming occurring on a spectrum. That’s the place the thought of “grey space drinker” emerged from, which encompasses everybody from the every-now-and-then drinker to those that are bodily hooked on alcohol. The great thing about this mannequin is that you just don’t must hit any kind of a all-time low earlier than you may discover your relationship with alcohol, you get to resolve at any level on the spectrum what’s best for you.

For those who’re able to get trustworthy with the position alcohol performs in your life, I might counsel sitting down with a pen and paper and answering the next questions. Get interested in your self, and take the time to reply truthfully. Don’t cloud your responses with disgrace, or judgement, or what your bestie goes to assume. That is about you and the one life that you’ve got, and whether or not or not you need a poisonous substance to play a task within the creation of that life. 

Is alcohol nonetheless working for me?
How is alcohol making me really feel?
What areas of my life has alcohol taken over?
Does consuming align with the individual I’m now?
What would “future you” inform “current you” on this scenario?

Tam: What if our associates have gone again to consuming after Dry January, however we try to proceed. Do you may have options/suggestions for learn how to make this a part of my way of life with my consuming associates? 

Krysty: You would possibly want to seek out new associates – haha. However, critically, if your mates really respect and assist you within the choices you make in your life, then it shouldn’t be an issue. However, in the event that they’re regularly making an attempt to push you to begin consuming once more, whining that you just’re not enjoyable anymore, or that one shot of tequila gained’t do any hurt, you then would possibly must rethink who you’re spending time with. You could work out for your self what you need to do with the time that you’ve got, and the individuals you spend it with. 

Moreover, in case your buddy group is closely immersed in consuming tradition – that means most social actions revolve round alcohol – you then would possibly want to seek out some new peeps that love to do various things.

Tam: Any favourite “drink” hacks to switch that Friday evening cocktail? 

Krysty: I’m essentially the most primary sober individual round – and I’m proud of consuming a seltzer on my sofa to unwind after a busy week. However, I do know that individuals have totally different wants, and I get that within the early days of going alcohol-free you may want one thing a bit extra thrilling. Fortunately, the alcohol-free market is on hearth! There are such a lot of merchandise available on the market – assume flavored seltzers, glowing teas, alcohol-free beers, wines, and spirits, kombuchas – I actually might go on and on. I’m regularly impressed on the locations the place I discover alcohol-free drinks – Goal, Dealer Joe’s, Complete Meals, common grocery shops, and native alcohol-free bottle retailers are beginning to provide such all kinds. My solely warning is be intentional when utilizing alcohol-free merchandise, particularly issues like alcohol-free wine or beer. For those who’re downing a bottle of alcohol-free wine most nights of the week, it’s form of like ripping off one bandage and placing on one other, and also you would possibly need to discover why you’re caught in the identical behaviors. 

Did you do Dry January this yr and preserve a dry or damp February? What’s your sober curious hack? ~ Tam